Yes, I admit it. I used to be a soap opera addict. As a child I would watch what the other women in the house were watching. Cable TV was not a big hit until the late 90's after all so people were mostly left to the mercy of local TV.
I remember watching Anna Luna and Mara Clara. I used to love half days in grade school so I could go home early and watch the afternoon soaps. Judy Ann Santos as Mara was constantly abused by Gladys Reyes as Clara for years. At some point I got tired of cheering for Mara to fight back and thought of just cheering for Clara to save myself from being sad and hurt with the character Mara. Other soaps I remember having followed are Pangako Sa 'Yo, Sana ay Ikaw Na Nga and Kay Tagal Kang Hinintay. I remember that we had night class during the time Pangako was soaring in the ratings. My friends and I would try to catch a few sequences now and then in the TV in one of the org rooms in school after night class whereas we had a teacher who looked a lot like John Lloyd Cruz during the time of Kay Tagal.
There were plenty of other soaps I did not particularly follow or like but I remember catching from time to time one way or another. The soaps I remember are: Agila, Yagit, Eredero, Verdadero, Mirasol Del Cielo, Gintong Kristal, Kadenang Kristal, Criselda (starring who is now Francine Prieto but was then a little girl close to my age), Del Tierro, Valiente, Mula sa puso, Esperanza, Mia Gracia, Gulong ng Palad (a short remake in the late 80's starring Marianne de la Riva still with Bamba as her child) among so many others.
Once cable TV arrived in our home, I followed The Bold and the Beautiful. Brooke Logan is one character I sometimes liked and sometimes despised. American soaps tackle subjects such as incest, divorce, sex and drugs more openly than Filipino soaps.
I also followed Sunset Beach in the late 90's. And among foreign telenovelas the following: Marimar, Betty la Fea, Endless Love (Autumn something with Johnny, Jenny and Andrew), Lovers in Paris, Full House, Save the Last Dance and a favorite of mine: Irene.
In all these soaps, I cheered for the protagonists, disliked the antagonists (though sometimes understood where they were coming from) and hoped for justice to prevail in the end. I did not bank on ever being or feeling like one of the soap opera heroines in real life. But now, I feel as though I were inside the boob tube instead of on the couch watching for the drama to unfold.
In the office where I work right now, It's as if I were casted (without my prior knowledge or permission) to play the role of the martyr heroine. I am there doing my best and just minding my own business but then there are people who are trying to make my life harder or to cast me in a bad light. Some observers to the scenario are of the opinion that the women who seem prejudiced against me are simply jealous. These women have apparently casted themselves as the wicked step sisters in the real life soap. The wicked steps are all sugary sweet when the bosses are around. They are almost kind to me when other people are watching. They put so much effort in pretending to have no animosity towards me but it is still apparent to smart people that it's all an act.
I don't have a clue as to why the steps would be nice to other girls my age or close to my age but not to me. I don't deal with them outside work so they don't know me all that well to be able to formulate a judgment on my character. At work, I treat them as I treat the others. I am civil, if not cordial, and friendly. I help out when asked or even without being asked and I'm generous with my smile so it's impossible for them to say I'm a snob. No one can think of one objective reason for why the steps are acting like wicked step sisters. However, those around me have come to a general conclusion: "envy".
Envy is a funny thing. Especially what a friend of mine calls "feminine envy". My friend, who knows the steps as well, is of the belief that the steps are insecure or otherwise threatened by me. I have a hard time believing that because why in the world would they feel that way? The steps are a decade or almost a decade older than I am. They are established (or at least to 3rd parties and others) in their fields and have more money than I do. I can't imagine being envious of a girl a decade younger than I am no matter how pretty she is. A decade is a decade. A person a decade older or younger belongs to a different time, a different context. The playing field is not the same. I can understand envy between those belonging to the same age group but not that of someone much older to a younger girl. The steps have already been where I am now. They don't have anything to be insecure about. I am not there to unseat them from whatever thrones they feel they occupy. I am not there to take anything away from them. I am just there to do my own thing and be my own person.
Hell, I come to work with almost no make-up (does powder or lip gloss count?) and in simple clothes (no, I don't wear skirts like the one in my user profile pic here to work). I am not at all vixen-y and it's not my fault if a few males here and there at work (or outside) think I look okay and start courting me. And if I'm thinner than they are or better shaped, haven't they realized that it's because 1) I have not given birth yet and 2) I go to the gym and work my butt off to have the body I want!
I've never acted as though I were better than anyone else. I am not perfect and I don't claim nor aspire to be perfect. I am me. I can appreciate other girls who look good especially if they worked hard to achieve their hot bodies. I know my place. I know and trust my friends. I don't go around worrying that this friend will like me less just because someone else came along and became close to him or her. I am not selfish. True friendship is not about holding your friend back or preventing him or her from making new friends.
One of the steps, in my assessment, feels threatened because a male higher than us in the office food chain, Raymond, spends more time with me at work than with her and gets along great with me. Raymond and I really do have to work together as we collaborate at work a lot so it's not our fault if step sis 1 feels that she doesn't have Raymond all to herself anymore. Secondly, step sis has been around for a decade and should, theoretically, be self-reliant while I am new and need more guidance (theoretically). Moreover, is it again my fault if Raymond does not see me the same way the steps do, if he gets along with me well and if we can be friends aside from workmates? Since when is it a crime or a sin to be liked and to make friends? Some have said that perhaps step sis 1 romantically likes Raymond. Well, It's none of my business what she feels for Raymond and he for her but let me just point out this itsy bitsy detail: Raymond is married.
I've been told time and time again that I am optimistic, that I see the world with rose-colored glasses. Perhaps. But then again, that is probably the main reason why I am taking the martyr approach to all these. I am doing my best not to lose my temper, to stay nice even when they're not, to forgive the things they do or say to me and about me, to stay focused on just doing my best no matter what they do or say. Mind you, being nice is a whole lot harder than just retaliating or fighting back. There are so many times when I have a hard time fighting the urge to fight back. I am often just reduced to tears as I choose to just forgive them, let go and carry on.
I'm not known for being meek. To the contrary, I'm known for being feisty and a defender of the oppressed. But in this case, I take the path I know Jesus would have taken if he were in my shoes. It's so damn hard to act Christ-like but I know in the end I won't regret having taken this path. I pray that I won't lose my temper, that I would always remember to do what Christ would do in any particular situation. I believe that God would always have my back, that any setbacks are temporary and are aimed at a greater goal in the future, that God would not let those who behave like villains triumph over those who choose to act as Christ would. I trust God to do the fighting for me in His own way, in his own time.
As with any soap opera, the villains will not triumph in the end. Justice will prevail. I have faith, I have hope. I have friends who love me. I have myself. Yes, I will make it through this.
I remember watching Anna Luna and Mara Clara. I used to love half days in grade school so I could go home early and watch the afternoon soaps. Judy Ann Santos as Mara was constantly abused by Gladys Reyes as Clara for years. At some point I got tired of cheering for Mara to fight back and thought of just cheering for Clara to save myself from being sad and hurt with the character Mara. Other soaps I remember having followed are Pangako Sa 'Yo, Sana ay Ikaw Na Nga and Kay Tagal Kang Hinintay. I remember that we had night class during the time Pangako was soaring in the ratings. My friends and I would try to catch a few sequences now and then in the TV in one of the org rooms in school after night class whereas we had a teacher who looked a lot like John Lloyd Cruz during the time of Kay Tagal.
There were plenty of other soaps I did not particularly follow or like but I remember catching from time to time one way or another. The soaps I remember are: Agila, Yagit, Eredero, Verdadero, Mirasol Del Cielo, Gintong Kristal, Kadenang Kristal, Criselda (starring who is now Francine Prieto but was then a little girl close to my age), Del Tierro, Valiente, Mula sa puso, Esperanza, Mia Gracia, Gulong ng Palad (a short remake in the late 80's starring Marianne de la Riva still with Bamba as her child) among so many others.
Once cable TV arrived in our home, I followed The Bold and the Beautiful. Brooke Logan is one character I sometimes liked and sometimes despised. American soaps tackle subjects such as incest, divorce, sex and drugs more openly than Filipino soaps.
I also followed Sunset Beach in the late 90's. And among foreign telenovelas the following: Marimar, Betty la Fea, Endless Love (Autumn something with Johnny, Jenny and Andrew), Lovers in Paris, Full House, Save the Last Dance and a favorite of mine: Irene.
In all these soaps, I cheered for the protagonists, disliked the antagonists (though sometimes understood where they were coming from) and hoped for justice to prevail in the end. I did not bank on ever being or feeling like one of the soap opera heroines in real life. But now, I feel as though I were inside the boob tube instead of on the couch watching for the drama to unfold.
In the office where I work right now, It's as if I were casted (without my prior knowledge or permission) to play the role of the martyr heroine. I am there doing my best and just minding my own business but then there are people who are trying to make my life harder or to cast me in a bad light. Some observers to the scenario are of the opinion that the women who seem prejudiced against me are simply jealous. These women have apparently casted themselves as the wicked step sisters in the real life soap. The wicked steps are all sugary sweet when the bosses are around. They are almost kind to me when other people are watching. They put so much effort in pretending to have no animosity towards me but it is still apparent to smart people that it's all an act.
I don't have a clue as to why the steps would be nice to other girls my age or close to my age but not to me. I don't deal with them outside work so they don't know me all that well to be able to formulate a judgment on my character. At work, I treat them as I treat the others. I am civil, if not cordial, and friendly. I help out when asked or even without being asked and I'm generous with my smile so it's impossible for them to say I'm a snob. No one can think of one objective reason for why the steps are acting like wicked step sisters. However, those around me have come to a general conclusion: "envy".
Envy is a funny thing. Especially what a friend of mine calls "feminine envy". My friend, who knows the steps as well, is of the belief that the steps are insecure or otherwise threatened by me. I have a hard time believing that because why in the world would they feel that way? The steps are a decade or almost a decade older than I am. They are established (or at least to 3rd parties and others) in their fields and have more money than I do. I can't imagine being envious of a girl a decade younger than I am no matter how pretty she is. A decade is a decade. A person a decade older or younger belongs to a different time, a different context. The playing field is not the same. I can understand envy between those belonging to the same age group but not that of someone much older to a younger girl. The steps have already been where I am now. They don't have anything to be insecure about. I am not there to unseat them from whatever thrones they feel they occupy. I am not there to take anything away from them. I am just there to do my own thing and be my own person.
Hell, I come to work with almost no make-up (does powder or lip gloss count?) and in simple clothes (no, I don't wear skirts like the one in my user profile pic here to work). I am not at all vixen-y and it's not my fault if a few males here and there at work (or outside) think I look okay and start courting me. And if I'm thinner than they are or better shaped, haven't they realized that it's because 1) I have not given birth yet and 2) I go to the gym and work my butt off to have the body I want!
I've never acted as though I were better than anyone else. I am not perfect and I don't claim nor aspire to be perfect. I am me. I can appreciate other girls who look good especially if they worked hard to achieve their hot bodies. I know my place. I know and trust my friends. I don't go around worrying that this friend will like me less just because someone else came along and became close to him or her. I am not selfish. True friendship is not about holding your friend back or preventing him or her from making new friends.
One of the steps, in my assessment, feels threatened because a male higher than us in the office food chain, Raymond, spends more time with me at work than with her and gets along great with me. Raymond and I really do have to work together as we collaborate at work a lot so it's not our fault if step sis 1 feels that she doesn't have Raymond all to herself anymore. Secondly, step sis has been around for a decade and should, theoretically, be self-reliant while I am new and need more guidance (theoretically). Moreover, is it again my fault if Raymond does not see me the same way the steps do, if he gets along with me well and if we can be friends aside from workmates? Since when is it a crime or a sin to be liked and to make friends? Some have said that perhaps step sis 1 romantically likes Raymond. Well, It's none of my business what she feels for Raymond and he for her but let me just point out this itsy bitsy detail: Raymond is married.
I've been told time and time again that I am optimistic, that I see the world with rose-colored glasses. Perhaps. But then again, that is probably the main reason why I am taking the martyr approach to all these. I am doing my best not to lose my temper, to stay nice even when they're not, to forgive the things they do or say to me and about me, to stay focused on just doing my best no matter what they do or say. Mind you, being nice is a whole lot harder than just retaliating or fighting back. There are so many times when I have a hard time fighting the urge to fight back. I am often just reduced to tears as I choose to just forgive them, let go and carry on.
I'm not known for being meek. To the contrary, I'm known for being feisty and a defender of the oppressed. But in this case, I take the path I know Jesus would have taken if he were in my shoes. It's so damn hard to act Christ-like but I know in the end I won't regret having taken this path. I pray that I won't lose my temper, that I would always remember to do what Christ would do in any particular situation. I believe that God would always have my back, that any setbacks are temporary and are aimed at a greater goal in the future, that God would not let those who behave like villains triumph over those who choose to act as Christ would. I trust God to do the fighting for me in His own way, in his own time.
As with any soap opera, the villains will not triumph in the end. Justice will prevail. I have faith, I have hope. I have friends who love me. I have myself. Yes, I will make it through this.
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