Rolling with Roles

Growing up, I didn't really have role models in my family. Sure, I looked up to my parents but I always knew I didn't want to be exactly like them. They're just from a different breed and a different time than I am. I didn't have any one role model. I would usually take a page from several people and come up with my own plan for myself.

Somewhere in my college years and especially when I entered law school, I nearly fainted withs surprise when it became known to me that to plenty of my uncles and aunts and other relatives and family friends, I was the girl they were marketing to their pre-teens and teens as a role model. That was really flattering (and at the same time funny) at first. I, the Ice Princess, being marketed as a role model?! I could roll laughing.

Eventually, I learned to take the role seriously because apparently, it was no laughing matter. Some of the teens and pre-teens took things seriously and turned to me for advice and "mentoring", so to speak. That is no laughing matter. Pre-teens are especially fragile. They are still at the stage where they are discovering things about themselves and learning what they can do, what they can't and what they want to do with their lives. Any advise taken seriously could have lasting effects and could be a tiny seed planted in their minds and hearts.

Now, the role of being marketed as role model to family feels like second nature to me already. I have grown accustomed to giving advice and all. I have also learned to factor the alleged "role" in my daily life. In making decisions, especially major ones, I often stop and pause if the same decision is something I would advice one of my cousins or nieces to do if they were in my situation or if the decision I'm contemplating would ruin the alleged model role. I realized that taking the "role" to heart not only helps others but it also provides me with parameters I need as well as guidelines to keep close to me.

I once told a second cousin once removed who told others I'm her idol that she should aspire to be better than me and that being better than me is not hard to do. In my eyes, role models are not meant to be put in a pedestal or worshiped. Instead, they are just meant to set a standard one should aspire to go beyond.

I did not expect to become a role model to family but it happened. Instead of thinking it's such a drag (as I have probably once or twice felt), I choose to see it as a blessing. I'm thankful I'm not the one who can help provide guidance instead of being one who needs the same desperately. I do hope I'm living up to the role. I'll do my best not to let anyone down, including myself.