I'm going to have to interrupt my long and winding never ending Ice World stories to write about something that happened much recently and other related stuff. I'll resume my Ice World stories soon, on and off. It's going to be a novel if I'm going to tell all.
I currently work in an office that used to be dominated by males but is now starting to be controlled by females. Only a handful of employees are males. The top bosses remain to be males but their days are numbered. It's a woman's world now there. Soon enough if any of the last remaining males resign, it's going to be an all-girl's office. Maybe then I can laugh out loud and say I've come full circle and returned to my all-girls roots in grade school. Only thing is, I don't think that is the best case scenario for the office I work for. It's probably among the worst case scenarios unless they manage to get rid of the garbage and manage to snag a few more keepers for the long haul. Well, let's see how things turn out.
I actually like the office in general. I didn't expect to end up there much less to actually like it there but well, here I am. I'm really thankful that I made a handful of real friends there. I joined the workforce thinking I'm there to work and not to socialize. If I make a few real friends along the way, well and good. If not, I already have lots of family and friends anyway.
I've always been more a reactive person than anything. I start of with a blank slate on people, save for a few that I have strong feelings for (either an affinity for them or a feeling that we won't get along) from the get-go. Then I take it from there. I end up liking, disliking or not caring at all about a person based on how they treat me, other people around us and how they manifest their principles in life. My personal opinion is always subject to change without prior notice. I never permanently dislike a person. My heart melts so easily and I can never stay mad for long.
In the office, my heart has melted so many times repeatedly for differently people who have made it so difficult to like them. Really. For one, there's this girl Victorina. Victorina is annoying when she speaks, for one. Her voice is not at all soothing to the ears. Plus her manner of speaking defeats that of the most horrible socialite ever. She's not exactly all nice either. She always wants her way and does not know how to take a hint or how to deal with someone who says no. She orders me around, barges inside my room uninvited and even once used emotional blackmail to get me to accompany her to lunch when no else wanted to.
I honestly don't like Victorina, with her I'm -the-queen-and-you're-all-peasants ways and her whinny, bossy tone. However, I'm also the only one who genuinely felt pity for her when everyone else hated her, kept mocking her and mimicking her behind her back but were all cheery to her face. I don't know if the girl is really the idiot she seems to be or if she's just numb and good at playing dumb. Either way, my mixed feelings for Victorina gets in the way most of the time with us. I so much want to be her real ally and to be there for her and help her be the best she can be but whenever I reach out, I just get burned over and over again by her ungentle, bragging, bossy ways (imagine this: she asks questions but doesn't listen to answers. She actually asks questions only so she could use the same as her opening to brag about something she has, will have or will do. It's a one-way conversation all the way. She always has to be the star, always has to be the center of the conversation). I dislike her but then again, I have sympathy for her. I don't know when I could manage to be perfectly Christ-like and manage not to be affected by her bossy, self-centered ways and just be the friend I know I could be in a way better than the rest in our little office.
Aside from Victorina, my wicked step sisters are also rather villains in the the office. Apparently, the two girls who are around a decade or so older than I am hate girls who are younger and who they perceive to be threats to them one way or another. I don't know if it is some cosmic accident that I fit the mold of the girl they dislike to a T whereas more annoying characters such as Victorina don't. Imagine that. Ha. I guess being a mouthy, bossy braggart does not necessarily equate to being a threat or to being an object of envy.
The two wicked step sisters have made it clear to me from the start that they don't want to be my best friend. They've excluded me in every possible way. It didn't bother me because as I said earlier, I'm in the office to work and not to socialize.
Lately, even doing just that, work, is being challenged by the wicked steps. I've done my best to stay out of their way and to be cordial when our paths crossed. I did not do a snitch when I could have cried and lamented to a big boss around here why I don't talk to the steps often enough. I was the one reprimanded for my lack of social relations with the two steps when the real reason behind that was simple: they're not nice and they drive me away all the time. Being a reactive person, I find it hard to resist being friendly and chummy with a person so nice and cordial. Well, the steps are the exact opposite: they're vain, envious and fickle.
I don't want anyone else to know that they're giving me a hard time, if I can help it. I don't want to make them look bad before anyone else even if I know they won't bat an eyelash before selling me to the devil the first chance they get. I just don't want to be mean to them even if I find myself reduced to tears privately sometimes whenever they do something not nice. I just don't want to stoop down to their level. I also haven't lost hope that maybe, just maybe, niceness would rub off on them eventually.
I don't hate them despite everything. I don't understand why they have to waste time and energy hating me when none of it would make them prettier, younger or richer much less nicer and the epitome of a good Christian. From where I stand, they're supposed to have more that I do: knowledge in our line of work, a wealth of experience, money and stability. From where I am, their grass is supposed to be much greener. They've been through where I am currently. They've done being a twenty something a decade or so ago. Unless they feel they haven't made the most of their days as a twenty something, they have nothing to regret. Just like I have nothing to regret about my teen years despite the embarrassing moments and tears.
Just last Friday, wicked Step 1 wrote me such a horribly nice note that was oozing with insincerity. Her nice words made me sick. Before I knew what I was doing, I had ripped her note into tiny shreds and I was on my way to the loo. The scene ended with me watching the shredded pieces of her insincere note get flushed down the toilet. Doing that gave me much satisfaction. As a nicer boss told me, I gave her note what it deserved.
I felt a little guilty about what I did. Though no one else would ever know, especially wicked Step 1, I still feel a little bad. She was not nice to me but maybe I should not have given her note the "royal" treatment the way I did.
The office is a microcosm of the world out there. You can be the nicest, most hard working person and still be treated like crap. For now, I'm just keeping the faith. I'll do my best at work and try to be as nice as I could be. I don't know why I'm taking the martyr route for now when I'm usually a fighter for equality and fair treatment. Perhaps I just want to do it like Christ. I just want to be nice. It won't be easy but if anyone can do it, why not Miss Mary Sunshine with the Ice World? Hope springs eternal.
I currently work in an office that used to be dominated by males but is now starting to be controlled by females. Only a handful of employees are males. The top bosses remain to be males but their days are numbered. It's a woman's world now there. Soon enough if any of the last remaining males resign, it's going to be an all-girl's office. Maybe then I can laugh out loud and say I've come full circle and returned to my all-girls roots in grade school. Only thing is, I don't think that is the best case scenario for the office I work for. It's probably among the worst case scenarios unless they manage to get rid of the garbage and manage to snag a few more keepers for the long haul. Well, let's see how things turn out.
I actually like the office in general. I didn't expect to end up there much less to actually like it there but well, here I am. I'm really thankful that I made a handful of real friends there. I joined the workforce thinking I'm there to work and not to socialize. If I make a few real friends along the way, well and good. If not, I already have lots of family and friends anyway.
I've always been more a reactive person than anything. I start of with a blank slate on people, save for a few that I have strong feelings for (either an affinity for them or a feeling that we won't get along) from the get-go. Then I take it from there. I end up liking, disliking or not caring at all about a person based on how they treat me, other people around us and how they manifest their principles in life. My personal opinion is always subject to change without prior notice. I never permanently dislike a person. My heart melts so easily and I can never stay mad for long.
In the office, my heart has melted so many times repeatedly for differently people who have made it so difficult to like them. Really. For one, there's this girl Victorina. Victorina is annoying when she speaks, for one. Her voice is not at all soothing to the ears. Plus her manner of speaking defeats that of the most horrible socialite ever. She's not exactly all nice either. She always wants her way and does not know how to take a hint or how to deal with someone who says no. She orders me around, barges inside my room uninvited and even once used emotional blackmail to get me to accompany her to lunch when no else wanted to.
I honestly don't like Victorina, with her I'm -the-queen-and-you're-all-peasants ways and her whinny, bossy tone. However, I'm also the only one who genuinely felt pity for her when everyone else hated her, kept mocking her and mimicking her behind her back but were all cheery to her face. I don't know if the girl is really the idiot she seems to be or if she's just numb and good at playing dumb. Either way, my mixed feelings for Victorina gets in the way most of the time with us. I so much want to be her real ally and to be there for her and help her be the best she can be but whenever I reach out, I just get burned over and over again by her ungentle, bragging, bossy ways (imagine this: she asks questions but doesn't listen to answers. She actually asks questions only so she could use the same as her opening to brag about something she has, will have or will do. It's a one-way conversation all the way. She always has to be the star, always has to be the center of the conversation). I dislike her but then again, I have sympathy for her. I don't know when I could manage to be perfectly Christ-like and manage not to be affected by her bossy, self-centered ways and just be the friend I know I could be in a way better than the rest in our little office.
Aside from Victorina, my wicked step sisters are also rather villains in the the office. Apparently, the two girls who are around a decade or so older than I am hate girls who are younger and who they perceive to be threats to them one way or another. I don't know if it is some cosmic accident that I fit the mold of the girl they dislike to a T whereas more annoying characters such as Victorina don't. Imagine that. Ha. I guess being a mouthy, bossy braggart does not necessarily equate to being a threat or to being an object of envy.
The two wicked step sisters have made it clear to me from the start that they don't want to be my best friend. They've excluded me in every possible way. It didn't bother me because as I said earlier, I'm in the office to work and not to socialize.
Lately, even doing just that, work, is being challenged by the wicked steps. I've done my best to stay out of their way and to be cordial when our paths crossed. I did not do a snitch when I could have cried and lamented to a big boss around here why I don't talk to the steps often enough. I was the one reprimanded for my lack of social relations with the two steps when the real reason behind that was simple: they're not nice and they drive me away all the time. Being a reactive person, I find it hard to resist being friendly and chummy with a person so nice and cordial. Well, the steps are the exact opposite: they're vain, envious and fickle.
I don't want anyone else to know that they're giving me a hard time, if I can help it. I don't want to make them look bad before anyone else even if I know they won't bat an eyelash before selling me to the devil the first chance they get. I just don't want to be mean to them even if I find myself reduced to tears privately sometimes whenever they do something not nice. I just don't want to stoop down to their level. I also haven't lost hope that maybe, just maybe, niceness would rub off on them eventually.
I don't hate them despite everything. I don't understand why they have to waste time and energy hating me when none of it would make them prettier, younger or richer much less nicer and the epitome of a good Christian. From where I stand, they're supposed to have more that I do: knowledge in our line of work, a wealth of experience, money and stability. From where I am, their grass is supposed to be much greener. They've been through where I am currently. They've done being a twenty something a decade or so ago. Unless they feel they haven't made the most of their days as a twenty something, they have nothing to regret. Just like I have nothing to regret about my teen years despite the embarrassing moments and tears.
Just last Friday, wicked Step 1 wrote me such a horribly nice note that was oozing with insincerity. Her nice words made me sick. Before I knew what I was doing, I had ripped her note into tiny shreds and I was on my way to the loo. The scene ended with me watching the shredded pieces of her insincere note get flushed down the toilet. Doing that gave me much satisfaction. As a nicer boss told me, I gave her note what it deserved.
I felt a little guilty about what I did. Though no one else would ever know, especially wicked Step 1, I still feel a little bad. She was not nice to me but maybe I should not have given her note the "royal" treatment the way I did.
The office is a microcosm of the world out there. You can be the nicest, most hard working person and still be treated like crap. For now, I'm just keeping the faith. I'll do my best at work and try to be as nice as I could be. I don't know why I'm taking the martyr route for now when I'm usually a fighter for equality and fair treatment. Perhaps I just want to do it like Christ. I just want to be nice. It won't be easy but if anyone can do it, why not Miss Mary Sunshine with the Ice World? Hope springs eternal.
1 comment:
"I’ve known some quite good people who were unhappy, but never an interested person who was unhappy." C. Benson
Happy people are interested and interesting. It has always surprised me how some quite good people are unhappy. I guess these are the people in power and control mode, closed in on themselves and little interested in anything else. But you, princess, stay happy, interested, and interesting. Cheerio.
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