More On My Ice World II

It's the last day of July and tomorrow we say hello to August. Before we know it Christmas songs will be playing everywhere again. Time could crawl slower than a turtle but on the other hand, it could also fly. Has it really been years ago when I first started law school? Hmmm.

I was changing physically when I entered law school. For one, I was slowly getting rid of a teeny bopper's style in dressing. I was starting to be ladylike fashion-wise. More importantly, I had just lost about ten pounds and hence a newfound confidence to wear clothes other than my signature baby t-shirts and jeans.

Mind you, I grew up a girl with high self-esteem looks-wise. My weight fluctuated several times over the years but I was constantly told I had THE face. I did not think losing ten pounds could cause so many changes but in my case, it did.

When I entered law school, I was fresh out of college. I was more a brainy girl than anything else in college. People would probably remember me for my grades or my passion in the fields I was in more than my skin coloring or other physical features (but then again, this is just me...I could be totally wrong...).

I did not feel at all like the bell of the ball in college. Neither did I feel like I was Cinderella before her transformation. I just felt like a normal teen-ager who was pretty but not the bell of the ball. I was happy with that. Let the everyday short shorts-wearing or spaghetti straps loving vixens be the "IT" girls. I was too preoccupied juggling my many units to care. I guess I was a no-nonsense girl.

When I entered law school ten pounds lighter but still me in every way and started to be active in student activities (something my rigid academic load did not permit in college), I was suddenly lumped with the "IT" girls. People were telling me I was a heartthrob of some sort. I found it funny at first. I was still me. I always was me. I was just too wrapped up in my own little world clad in baggy jeans and baby-Ts but I was the same alleged heartthrob heading projects here and there, ten pounds lighter and clad in sleeveless tops and knee length skirts. Heck, I don't even wear revealing clothes the other girls are so fond of wearing. Neither did I ever get fond of make-up.

It became flattering at some point when guys claiming to be suitors (or subtly sending feelers that they want to ask me out) started multiplying. Being complemented was embarrassing but also leaves a nice feeling. Being compared to be a look-alike of this really nice looking celebrity is simply humbling.

It was not all pleasant though. With the admirers came the detractors. With those who genuinely liked you comes envious people or in my case, envious ladies. Now that is a topic that would take many posts to exhaust. I'm just giving the birds-eye view in this case. There's so much more to tell and on this little aspect alone.

I'll save the rest of the story for next time. I'll close this piece by saying that the experience brought about by the changes and events that my new ten pound lighter look brought about helped make the once Miss Mary Sunshine all the way be Miss Mary Sunshine with an Ice World.

More On My Ice World I

In what I would consider one of my attempts to find my place under the sun, I actually applied for and ended up attending law school. Yes, law school.

In the beginning, it was all play to me. After all, I was fresh out of college and could afford to have a go at something that won't be for keeps. I was, and again I repeat a phrase often found in this blog, trying to find my place under the sun. It was actually a pleasant surprise for me that I qualified in what is arguably the most prestigious schools of law in the country. So many applicants took the entrance exam. Even among my coursemates in college roughly 90% took the entrance exam. I was actually ambivalent about taking the entrance exam. I did not have my heart set on going to law school. I was actually contemplating joining the corporate world, if not entering the academe. I took the exam just to keep my options open and also because almost all my friends were taking it.

To my surprise, I made the cut. Only a small number made it and I was part of the statistics. Wow. Quite a number of people I know who really had impressive credentials did not make it. I definitely had to take that as a sign that law school is something I should contemplate. Added to other ominous little signs that I received in my last few semesters in college (i.e. garnering top marks in law subjects when I definitely was not the most passionate or the most hard working in the class), I decided to try law school. Try only. Maybe a semester or a year. If I like it, I stay and become the best lawyer I can be. If I don't, I ship out and pick up where I left off with my plans to either conquer the corporate world or to rise up the academe.

I did not realize that my decision to give law school a try would change my life nor that it would affect me in such an extreme way. Let's just say I've evolved quite far from the person I was when I first stepped into the grounds of that place we call law school.

I doubt that I can tell all in one post so I won't even try. I'll do it little by little. This will also serve as my catharses somehow. Heaven knows how much I could do with a catharses.

Moving along, I was but a naive, sheltered girl fresh out of her teens when I first stepped into the walls of law school. I had such rose colored glasses and I was an eternal optimist. In short, I was unprepared for the hazards of the microcosm of Philippine politics and government: law school.

There's definitely a lot more when I post part II of this. Stay tuned.

Of Debuts and Debutantes

I just came from a debut of a second cousin once removed. I can't help but remember my own debut some years back. In hindsight, I can say that most of the things that consumed me during those times were rather petty. There are so many more important things in the world than having your measurements taken, preparing a list of 18 candles or 18 roses sponsors or choosing a color motif for the event.

However, I have to admit that I'm still thankful I had the privilege of having a coming out celebration when I turned 18. I'm the kind of person who probably would feel as though I missed out if I didn't get to celebrate my 18th birthday with a bang one way or another. I'm still glad I didn't miss out on anything.

Being 18, for a girl in Metro Manila, is usually a turning point. It's always a milestone in some way. During my go at the 18 candles, the debutante told the people I'm her idol. I told her to try to do better than me and that it won't be that hard to do so. I also told her that she should not let other people set the standards she would follow for herself. She is her own person, her own woman. However, the same does not negate her obligations and responsibilities. More so, I told her that there is a time and place for everything and that is one guideline for her to remember at all times.

It seems just like yesterday when I was the debutante. Time flies indeed when one is not obsessing about it. Have I changed much since I was the debutante? I think so. In a good way? Mostly, yes. Would I do anything differently? Nah. Mistakes and all, I won't be who I am right now if not for everything that transpired in my life.

No regrets. Life is too short to live it with regrets.

Ice Princess and the Sun

I had a question nearly a decade that has come back to hunt me. I thought it was a resolved issue but apparently, not so. Or at least not resolved with the final period that cannot be erased. The question is: WHERE IS MY PLACE UNDER THE SUN?

For an ice princess to mention anything about the sun is ironic but to even be asking that question at this point in my life, to me, is simply paradoxical. I had thought this was a childhood question. Such a question was even the topic of one episode of the old cartoon The Rugrats. Apparently, such a question is not completely resolved as one leaves childhood and now I'm starting to realize that perhaps it is a question with no one answer that is etched in stone. In short, one's place under the sun is never stagnant or permanent. It could change. In most cases, it would change over the years as we grow in experience and age.

I've never really felt as though i belong anywhere totally. I've always been part of groups but never totally undetachable. I have different peer groups but I am seldom identified as the one who is with that group or is that person's friend. I've remained independent mostly and often prefer to do things or pursue interests by myself. I've more than once felt that though I belong with people I can call friends or family, with them is not my final place under the sun. I would not even really call it my place as in MY place. I could dwell in a million places and never call it MY place.


Career wise, I've always threaded through different (and I mean DIFFERENT!) worlds so to speak. Making the most of two or more different fields is never easy. I've always felt as though I love one field most when I'm in it only to feel the same way about the other field.

A friend asked me if I could really serve two masters well. My answer? Career wise, I am not serving two masters at the same time. I am pursuing two different fields where I both have potential and passion for. Time management is not exactly a walk in the park but hey, I'm not complaining, am I? I know it is uncommon for a person such as myself to have interests that could be more different from one another. Heck, maybe that's why I call myself Ice Princess and this blog Ice World and still be looking for my place under the sun.

Bottomline is, I am the master of faith, I am the captain of my soul. I am walking a path not walked by many. But my, what a lovely path it is in my eyes.

As to my place under the sun? I have to come to terms that it is continuously changing. But then again, change is always the catalyst. I don't want to live in a stagnant world.